Look, we get it. The world is full of candles that promise to transport you to a lavender field in Provence or a vanilla bean farm in Madagascar. That's cute. But we decided to make candles for people who'd rather be transported to their best friend's wedding where they hooked up with the entire bridal party.

Born from a unholy mixture of spite, humor, and probably too much wine, our candles started as a joke that got way out of hand - kind of like your last relationship. We were tired of pretending that our homes smelled like "Summer's First Kiss" when they actually smelled like "Last Night's Bad Decisions." So we decided to pour some truth into every vessel, along with premium soy wax and a heavy dose of questionable humor.

Each of our candles is hand-poured in small batches, because mass production is for people who have their lives together, and that's clearly not our target market. We use only the finest ingredients because while our life choices may be questionable, our quality standards aren't. Plus, we figure if you're going to illuminate your poor decisions, you might as well do it with style.

Why buy from us? Because unlike your ex, our candles actually deliver on their promises. They burn clean, last long, and come with names that will make your mother question where she went wrong in raising you. They're perfect for everything from passive-aggressive gift-giving to creating ambiance for whatever questionable activity you're about to engage in.

So go ahead, grab a candle that speaks to your soul (or at least your trauma). Because life's too short for boring candles, and therapy is expensive. Plus, unlike most of your life choices, these ones come with a money-back guarantee.

Warning: May cause excessive laughing, triggered memories, and the sudden urge to text screenshots to your group chat. We are not responsible for any restraining orders, regrettable texts, or impromptu life decisions made while under the influence of our products.