Amore Eterno
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Amore Eterno

$19.99 $24.99
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Baby Strollers Are for Babies, Not Dogs
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Baby Strollers Are for Babies, Not Dogs

$19.99 $24.99
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Big Brain Energy
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Big Brain Energy

$19.99 $24.99
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Blow and BlowJobs
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Blow and BlowJobs

$19.99 $24.99
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Currently Ignoring All My Problems
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Currently Ignoring All My Problems

$19.99 $24.99
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Don’t Tempt Me (Wait, Do)
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Don’t Tempt Me (Wait, Do)

$19.99 $24.99
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Hangry & Dangerous
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Hangry & Dangerous

$19.99 $24.99
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I Can't. Even.
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I Can't. Even.

$19.99 $24.99
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I Cry at work
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I Cry at work

$19.99 $24.99
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I Meditate
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I Meditate

$19.99 $24.99
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Inner Peace Club
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Inner Peace Club

$19.99 $24.99
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IQ: High. Tolerance: Low.
Sale

IQ: High. Tolerance: Low.

$19.99 $24.99
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This candle smells f*in' great

John, California

Nothing says ‘I get you’ like a candle that makes your friends snort-laugh

Dave, Washington DC

The Sweet on Me scent made my kitchen smell like I’m hosting an apple cranberry pie bake-off. And winning.

Michelle, Nevada

If you’re gifting socks, rethink your life. If you’re gifting this candle, you’re a legend.

Greg, South Carolina

These candles smell so good, my roommate tried to eat one. Five stars for scent, zero stars for roommate survival skills.

James, Colorado

The Fresh Outta F*cks scent smells so clean that visitors started taking their shoes off at the door. If only it could clean my laundry too.

Lauren, Florida

Cracks me up every time I look at it

Cassie, Oregon
Shipping
We move faster than your situationship ended. Most orders ship within 2–4 business days, because we know waiting is so last season.
Returns
Every candle is hand-poured with obsessive care and only the best ingredients. If your order shows up damaged or less than perfect, we’ll replace it. No stress. No BS. Just damn good candles.
Support
Got questions? We’ve got answers—and attitude. We reply within 24–48 business hours because being ignored is for texting, not customer service.